Don’t Go Too Far Too Fast, and Don’t Stop Until it Feels Good.

I used to always hate stretching.

Every once in a while I’d bend over to touch my toes. But after a few seconds of holding the position, I’d give up and release the stretch — the feeling was just too unpleasant for me.

Of course, a half-second stretch does nothing to improve my flexibility. And if I don’t do anything to improve my flexibility, I will only get less flexible.

But the less flexible I become, the more painful it is for me to stretch. And since pain is the reason why I wasn’t stretching in the first place, I was stuck in a vicious cycle.

We all have vicious circles going on somewhere in our lives.

If you want to get stronger but you’re not working out, you’re getting weaker. If you want to improve your social skills but you’re not socializing, you’re getting more awkward.

It may seem like things are staying the same, but don’t confuse what is slow with what is still.

If you’re not growing your dying.

Fortunately, there is always a way to escape a vicious cycle into a virtuous one. You just have to make the activity more pleasurable than it is painful.

Pain and pleasure are what drive motivation.

If you think of an activity as being too painful, you simply won’t keep it up in the long term.

In contrast, if you think of an activity as being pleasurable, you will naturally want to do it more. Do it enough, you may even get addicted to it!

I’ve always hated stretching, but I’ve noticed that lots of people find stretching addictive. I used to think it wasn’t something uniquely wrong with my muscles to make them hurt so much when stretching.

But now I know that that’s not the case.

Stretching was only painful because I made it painful.

I was doing this in two ways.

First, I would always dive right to the pain point ta the beginning of my stretch. Sometimes I would tolerate the pain, but most of the time I’d give up after a few seconds.

I thought I was being a wuss and I just needed to learn how to “suck it up.” Now I realize that people who are good at stretching don’t go so hard- they take it easy and stretch slowly, keeping the pain at an easily tolerable level.

Second, I was giving up too early. I found that if I hold the stretch long enough, the pain will slowly fade away, and the pleasure of relief and accomplishment will replace it.

Then when I finally release the stretch, I would get a surge of pleasure that would carry me through the rest of the day. This makes the memory of stretching positive in my mind, so I’m more motivated to do it again.

That’s why I have three rules now whenever I stretch, or do anything effortful in life.

• Rule #1: Don’t go too far too fast
• Rule #2: Don’t stop until it feels good.
• Rule #3: Don’t start until you’re committed (to follow the first two rules)

Again, this doesn’t just apply to stretching, it applies to everything.

I’ve seen so many people give up on projects and learning goals because they either tried to do too much at once and burned out, or because they gave up before they could experience the joy of progress.

Pay attention to your pleasure and pain, and act in such a way that they become allies to your goals rather than enemies.

And stay limber!